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Colorism is a trending topic that every stripper is talking about. This world has been exposed to racism so long that customers in the strip club aren’t even aware of their racist comments and actions. What you may not have realized, however, is just how many exotic dancers are actually suffering from this behavior in the gentlemen’s club.
I’ve heard things from, “Your pretty for a black girl”. “You must be mixed you look too exotic to be black”. When there are two black girls together they ask, “Are y’all related?” I’m assuming, in their head, all black people look alike or know each other. “I’m glad you don’t talk like black girls, you know ratchet.” “Black girls are the worst!”….. Okay so I made that one up but that’s what it sounds like to me. They have an altered pic of what a black woman should be and is shock to see otherwise. I just flip it back on them like “Your handsome for an Asian” or “Your well dressed for a white man. What can I say? I love foreplay. They soon realize how fucked up it sounds and either apologizes or changes subject.
Photo credit: Odysseyonline.com
I can only vouch for the venues in Dallas, but I’m sure they are not the only ones. As a colored stripper, I find it hard to get hired in white clubs. By white clubs, I mean majority Caucasian staff and customers jamming to pop, country, and rock. The managers are always explaining to me that they aren’t hiring. I never took it personal till my white friend went the next day and got hired. So I went back again to get hired. Denied once again. The crazy thing is my light skinned mulatto friend had gotten hired the same day I went back. One of the dance managers once told me it’s not because your black. When someone tells me these things without being provoked, I call that confession. You’re right it’s not because I’m black. It’s because I’m dark skinned. Now I just go out of town and work at mixed clubs.
In this industry you have to have tough skin. When I used to work at The Men’s Club, there was this 80 year old man with a huge cowboy hat that would always come in. He loved black women. There were 3 of us. God forbid if there were more. We would sit at his table in VIP and he would buy us drinks and pay us $20 every 5 minutes to sit and talk. No dancing. He got a kick out of calling us nigger. None of us enjoyed that but we did enjoy the money and that’s what we were there to do. Make money. We would always get $200 each then he would leave. I guess that was his limit. Trust and believe we spoke up and stated our opinion on it but we also knew that he most likely grew up racist. He got with the times but it was in his blood by then. There was no point in trying to convince him saying the n word was offensive. He knew. People come to strip clubs for fantasy. Unfortunately degrading women is one of them. In my opinion, if they pay i don’t care. It’s temporary. All men really want is an ego boost.
When I look at the proportion of color to white in caucasian clubs there always seem to be no more than 5 black girls. It’s like affirmative action, only just enough. These are the only clubs who segregate. I say this because if a white woman was to work at a black club she would happily get hired. No white ratio going on in the black club. All is welcome. It only seems segregated because most are intimidated by black women. We are seen hostile.
Dear black men, you gotta do better at supporting you’re black women. I feel like black men in white strip clubs are no better. I’m not saying all black men but a majority of those who stay in the white or Hispanic club do not support their black women. We as African-American women see it. When I worked at Jaguars in Odessa, the Latinos showed there women love no matter how they were built or whether they knew them or not. White people do the same for theirs. When a black woman in a predominately white and Hispanic club sees a black customer, we automatically get a little happy. Mainly because we feel that these people will support us. But they don’t. They still treat us like shit and follow the crowd and support others. It’s quite sad. This is why most black women would rather work in a white club if they could. Unfortunately they support their women better. We don’t have to work so hard just to get tipped onstage or lap dances because they know what they are coming in there for. It’s like African-American men are being brainwashed not to support us.
I’m sure you’ve heard about the NYC stripper strike. For those who don’t know, there is a lot of color-ism going on in those clubs. Dark skin women can’t seem to get hired in the NYC strip clubs. If they do, they’re getting mistreated not just by managers but customers as well. If these women were to stand up for themselves they might get fired or mistreated. Entertainers of NYC made a choice not to work in those clubs because of the disrespect. On top of that, the booty club promoters hire these social media models with a huge following to do their jobs . These models are hired as waitresses but on the job they dance and dress like strippers so you really can’t tell who’s who. The real kicker is these waitresses see fit to take the money off the dancers stage when they are being tip. Once again if the stripper has something to say about it they will get fired or mistreated.
Anansi played by Orlando Jones in tv show “American Gods”
Sex workers are not sitting down and looking pretty any more. Only through this anger, will shit get done. I can feel it in the air. Someone will pave the way for future strippers and sex workers. May we support each other and watch each other grow. Let this blog inspire you to do so. Now I want to hear your opinion. Did I miss anything? Comment below and add your story on color-ism, racism, discrimination, and favoritism to the list.
I recommend you follow:
IG: @nycstripperstrike to learn more about the movement
Learn how to hired at at white strip club as a dark skin dancer by reading this blog.
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Thank you for everything you have said. This blog, the comments, the stories it’s eye-opening. Working in the sex industry can be challenging enough I can’t imagine adding everything else onto that. Black women deserve better than the experiences you are mentioning. And I just feel like white woman need to stand up more for non white women. Cause you are right we all need to support each other.
This post needs more repost because it’s true black men refuse to support their own. While other races do and when black men are being mistreated they love to run back to the black man for help like go ask your women you support to help you. I’ve been dancing for a while and I’ll say I have made most of money from white men and few Spanish. I’m dark skin and skinny not a big chest or booty. But black men barley showed me any love except one who never really Comes anymore. Love this blog it speaks facts. Black men really don’t care to support black dancers.
I can completely relate to this. I haven’t been a stripper but I have been an escort and right now I’m a sugar baby. What always makes me laugh is when non-black women act like the tactics they use with a mark will automatically work for black women. I’ve tried it all, the white girl way, the Asian girl way, the Latina way, but in the end it doesn’t matter because all men see is color. I tend to not talk about colorism especially with females that are nonblack because they prefer to act ignorant of the fact that black women face hardships because of their color and try to convince you that the reason you are struggling is because you’re pictures aren’t flashy enough or you aren’t confident enough or because it just takes time to be noticed. The only men I don’t have an issue attracting are the ones who fetish black women (there are very few) but the problem with them is that the fetish is really rooted in slavery. I’ve had marks who wanted to treat me like a slave, who wanted me to talk just like people talked back in slavery. That to them was sexy. Its sad that black women are shown that we are only desirable if we are willing to let marks degrade us, and of course most want to call you a nigger.
As for wanted support from black men, I don’t care for it. Throughout my whole 28 years of living there have only been 4 black men who have shown interest in me, 3 of them were during junior and high school. Whether it was dating, escorting, or sugaring I’ve only had white men and Hispanic men show me interest. When it comes to black men, I’m invisible. There have been a handful of times where I was out with friends and a black guy or two would approach us, acknowledge everyone but me whether I was with my nonblack friends or my light skinned black friends. I know in guy scale I’m a 7 (for a black girl :p). I’m not dark skinned but I’m not light skinned either. I’m not unattractive, I’m cute and pretty, not beautiful or gorgeous by men standards. However women who are 6’s or less will be picked over me because of their race. Guys will also not be ashamed to tell me that to my face. I lost count of the number of times I was told, "you’re smart and pretty for a black girl but I would rather have an Asian, white, or Latina." Then the guys who haven’t been with a black girl and take a chance, talk nonstop about how they’ve never been a black woman, i’m amazing for a black woman, and they keep the every conversation centered on my skin color as if that’s what is making the experience I am giving worthwhile.
I’d like to be more optimistic about things changing for black women but I honestly don’t see it. Women in general are sexualized and disrespected. For things to change for black women I feel like things would first have to change for nonblack women then men may consider changing their attitudes toward us. We aren’t grouped with other women. That’s why we are always referred to as "black women". We are kept separate while every other ethnic group is "women". Its sad but its reality. Overall, I continue going about my life, not allowing colorism to define me, despite people in society deciding that they will let colorism define me.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for telling your story